Weird Dicks: The Source Of All Evil?
How shame warped the minds of society's creeps.
In 2018, a scandal broke out about adult film actress Stormy Daniels and President Donald Trump having extramarital sex in 2002. Melania had just had a baby at the time, and years later he falsified business records to hide that he paid her hush money. It was a run of the mill Trump Sex Scandal in the constant white noise of chaotic media coverage of US politics. This story, however, immediately grabbed my attention with Stormy Daniels' description of Trump's penis.
She said it was "smaller than average" but "not freakishly small." In her tell-all book she wrote, “He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool." She went into more detail of her night with Trump, “I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart."
A small toadstool shaped penis. A wide head with a small shaft. I immediately thought of my tryst with a famous, megalomaniacal man who also had a small, oddly shaped penis, Mr. RSB...
Right before we first hooked up, he told me he couldn't wait to 'destroy' me in bed. RSB was rich, famous, and incredibly charming so I was convinced that he would. But when we got into bed, I was not impressed. He had a below average–about 3 inches–ice-cream cone shaped penis. His testicles were the size of quail eggs and seemed to be sucked up into his body. I barely felt anything, yet he kept asking me if he was 'too big' and if he was hurting me.
Long story short, he ended up being the most malignantly grandiose person I’ve ever met. I later found out it was an open secret in his industry that he had beaten his ex-girlfriend of 10 years.
So, when I heard that Donald Trump also had a weird and smallish penis, I wondered if there was a connection. Small, weird dick equals big, weird ego?
It's already a tired cliche that men with small penises will overcompensate in other ways. A fancy car, a big house, a hypermasculine swagger. Small-dick jokes are even woven into kids' movies. My favorite is in Shrek, when Shrek and Donkey walk up to the tiny despot Lord Farquad's Castle - a massive tower - and Shrek asks, “You think maybe he’s compensating for something?” Every adult is in on the joke.
You don’t have to have a micropenis to feel emasculated and insecure. In a society that prizes masculinity as the ultimate expression of power, it’s not surprising that overcompensation is normal. It can be, and often is, pretty benign. If a guy wants to buy a Ferrari to make up for feeling emasculated due to his penis-size... What's the harm? A physical difference never immediately equates to a moral failing, however in a society that shames ‘not-man-enough’ men and dominates the feminine–insecurities can feed the wrong ideas in the right circumstances.
This little issue can have big, destructive, consequences when taken to extremes. Add in ingredients like power, money, an unloving or traumatic upbringing and you can get deeply disturbing results.
Clearly most men with weird dicks are not evil, but how many evil men have weird dicks?
Meet the Power Perverts
Donald Trump is just one of the men whose [allegedly] micro member casts a long dark shadow. What really made me start pulling the thread on this idea was a recent study of Hitler’s DNA that found he had Kallman’s Syndrome, which delays or stops puberty. Symptoms include diminished secondary sex traits, such as undescended testicles and in some cases, a micropenis. While we can never have 100% certainty that he indeed did have a micropenis, there is a decent possibility - and his medical records show that he had only one descended testicle.
When I looked into it further, I was shocked by what other men are alleged to have small or malformed penises.
Perhaps the most high-profile and infamous sex criminal of the 21st Century, Jeffrey Epstein allegedly had a 2-inch micropenis shaped like an egg or a lemon. One of his victims reported that, “his penis looked really weird, like he’d had an operation on it or something and I felt he was kind of embarrassed about it because he was trying to hide it.”
According to his emails, he also needed medication for extremely low testosterone levels, and complained of a low-libido.
The recently released Epstein Files sparked outrage and disgust at not only how depraved Jeffrey Epstein’s crimes are, but at how vast and high his network of contacts, clients and co-conspirators was. We don’t know the limits of his political influence, but it seems like he was a huge player in the shadows of power. Jeffrey Epstein was guilty of sex trafficking young women and children - but he is implicated in torture, sexual torture, medical crimes against women, forcing minors to be surrogates, and the list goes on. He allegedly sexually terrorized women and children all while having a low libido and being embarrassed of his penis-size.
Another high-profile man that was accused of sexual crimes is Sean “Diddy” Combs. On top of his criminal trial in 2025, he has been sued by an alleged victim, who in court documents described his penis as having the size and girth of a large tootsie roll (which are about 3 inches). Just like Epstein, he was accused of sex trafficking women, serial rape, and physical and psychological abuse of his female (and male) victims.
In 2021 the serial killer Joseph James DeAngelo, more widely known as Golden State Killer, was captured after decades of evading justice. He raped over 50 women and murdered at least 12 people in a series of burglaries in the 60s and 70s. Victims reported that he liked to ‘play God’ with their lives, mentally torturing them. He was identified by DNA evidence and corroborating victims’ testimony of his extremely small phallus. Police struggled to even take a picture of it for evidence it was so small. One of the investigators who took pictures of DeAngelo’s penis said, “it’s smaller than the circumference of a dime and its length is equal to the tip of your pinky.”
A notable case that doesn’t quite fit but is way too interesting to not mention is the man at the center of the Me Too movement: Harvey Weinstein. While there aren’t any records of what Harvey Weinstein’s penis looked like before his 1999 case of gangrene - he is another sexual monster who was reported to have an extremely deformed penis. Accusers testified that he appeared to have no testicles and had a “disgusting looking penis,” that appeared as if it “had been chopped off and sewn back on.” He purportedly had a massive infection on his genitals and had to have his testicles moved from his scrotum into his inner thighs. Weinstein was not, at least by any public accounts, born with abnormal genitalia, it’s almost as if his sexual monstrosity manifested physically.
Perhaps half of these reports are exaggerations, smear campaigns done in retrospect after these men are caught. A rumor circling the internet is that Elon Musk had a botched penis enlargement surgery that may or may not be fueling his obsession with rockets. Whether that is true or not doesn’t really matter: putting a man’s penis size or sexuality into question is a low-bar way to insult or discredit them. And that’s part of the equation–the shame of not being man enough in a world where masculinity defines structures of power and domination.
Having a small penis is not the only source of male shame. And there are definitely lots of rapists and abusers out there with huge dicks. Strong men dictators like Stalin, Franco, Musollini, have a different brand of domination and different origin stories that shaped them - chaotic alcoholic fathers, strict religious mothers, poverty, inborn sociopathy. There’s a cold, inhumane orderliness to them.
What men like Epstein, Diddy, and DeAngelo have in common is the perverse erotic domination to how they operate. There’s almost a desperate need to dominate and even destroy feminine bodies in order to avoid their deep shame. In their weakness, they seek to play God, both charming and cruel and all powerful. In their smallness, they burned their victims like a little boy with a magnifying glass burns ants.
In their smallness, they burned their victims like a little boy with a magnifying glass burns ants.
Their violence is intimate and perverse. Hitler, while he straddles the Pervert and the classic strong man archetype, isn’t known for sexual crimes. With Epstein, Diddy and DeAngelo - they’re pure bred Power Perverts. Their crimes are sexual, intimate, emotional, and dramatically cruel. They alchemize their shame into power through inflicting pain and domination. They spread shame like a virus in their wake and benefit from their victims’ silence.
The Poison of Shame
Shame is the root of violence, according to Dr. James Gilligan. “All violence is an attempt to replace shame with self-esteem.” The psychologist wrote that there is a gendered element to violence - and that a man who thinks he is a “wimp” is a dangerous one. And this is part of a larger system, “If a man kills one person, he is sent to prison; if he kills ten, to a prison mental hospital; but if he is responsible for the death of thousands, he is crowned emperor, made the Duke of Marlborough, or elected President of the United States. The opposite of shame is honor; and the highest honor given by the United States is the Congressional Medal of Honor. Who is it given to? Men. And for what? For violence, or more precisely, for turning themselves and other men into objects of each other's violence.”
Violence, power and masculinity are intertwined in our world. If your masculinity is called into question, then you can go amass more power and commit more violence. No one will dare mention your tootsie roll ever again.
The connection between wounded masculinity, shame, and violence are well documented. Alfred Adler, the psychologist who coined the terms inferiority and superiority complex, believed that feelings of inferiority were rooted in masculine qualities being perceived as superior and feminine qualities being inferior. When a boy feels that he is hopelessly inadequate, he will not only seek the “restoration of the balance of power; he will demand an over-compensation, will seek an overbalance of the scales.” His damaged self esteem is soothed by pathological pursuit of power and dominance, and putting women, and things associated with feminine traits, in an inferior position.
Adler wrote these theories in the early 20th century, when societal gender roles were more pronounced. Male qualities were associated with strength, power, virility and negative traits such as weakness and fragility were female traits. Feeling weak or inferior to some degree is normal, but when taken to extreme degrees it is what becomes destructive, hyper-masculine toxic behavior.
Adler declares that "I have never encountered a male neurotic who did not in some form make the point, and also tried to prove, that women are inferior".
It doesn’t take a genius to observe that an extremely small or oddly shaped penis can be a source of shame for a young person that grows like a cancer under certain circumstances. Seeking immense power, domination, and even mass adoration are all things that the Power Perverts have in common.
The gendered nature of Adler’s inferiority/ superiority complex is a product of its time. The association of strength with the masculine and weakness with the feminine is not an inherent value trait–obviously–it is a cultural one. There is no inherent shame in having a different type of body, of being a ‘feminine’ man, of having a small penis. We should know this by now, yet these concepts are so deeply embedded into our culture and collective psyches that it continues to affect us all, personally and politically.
In their world, women are inferior. And the more women they dominate, the more these men can dissociate from their own incurable inadequacy. Women are a currency to buy their masculine virility and power. A beautiful actress on their arm, a trophy-wife, a line of modelesque women coming to them for their approval and access to power. The more women who submit to them, the more powerful and desirable they appear to the world.
Stormy Daniels said that Trump had dropped trou, stood in her way and said, “This is the only way you're getting out of the trailer park." He has the access to power and she has to sexually submit in order to get it.
Weinstein ran a casting couch out of his hotel rooms–where he promised roles and threatened to ruin careers. Diddy and Epstein both ran sex trafficking networks while having an outward image of being powerful, wealthy moguls of industry and sought after playboys (Epstein was literally Cosmopolitan Magazine’s “bachelor of the month” in 1980). And just like other forms of currency, they can be passed around to curry favors and buy loyalty with other powerful people.
And what about the women, like Jeffrey Epstein’s bosom gal-pal Ghislaine Maxwell, who form ranks with these men? How is it that she was so involved–even seeming to run the show at times? Adler had a theory on women with superiority complexes, who were basically the ultimate version of an ‘I’m-not-like-other-girls-pick-me’. They see themselves as better than other women, and identify with men in power. They’re not like other women, weak, illogical, gullible, victims. Maxwell reportedly once referred to the teenage girls who were around Epstein as “nothing…They are trash.” According to one of the victims, she also seemed like she “didn’t like women very much.”
Internalized misogyny is the female version of small dick energy. We’ve all probably met a woman who says that she “thinks like a man” or prefers to hang out with men because they “bring less drama”. They’re just more reasonable, less unstable, and aren’t interested in silly feminine-coded interests like gossiping, astrology, clothes. There is an undercurrent of male superiority and wanting to align with that superiority. Other women are trash. Totally uncool.
Just like men aren’t always the abuser, women are not the only subjects of the abuse. Children and other men–especially young men and gay men – are also targets. Anyone who is vulnerable, weak, lower on the totem-pole is prey.
Under the Magnifying Glass
I stumbled upon a disturbing video the other day in my research for this piece. It was unverified, possibly fake, but allegedly depicting a Power Pervert torturing a woman with a magnifying glass. Literally. A man, calm and unmoved, holding glass to sun over her bare skin, burning it.
I don't know if it's real or a deepfake. I don't know who's in it. But the images really hit it home for me; they want to play god so we can become the ants burning at their whim.
But now we are turning the magnifying glass around, scrutinizing these Power Perverts, going through every available detail with a fine tooth comb. Diddy’s sex life–and apparent same-sex attraction–was exposed in his trial along with his litany of abuses and crimes. The Golden State Killer had to have pictures of his genitals taken by court order. A group of policemen reportedly expressed shock and disbelief at how small his penis was (and struggled to take a photo of it). Weinstein had photos of his penis shown in court. Epstein’s emails and personal details, as well as multiple unflattering descriptions of his penis are now public. Shame is being sent back to sender.
The shame that abuse victims often feel can create the silence which protects perpetrators. As survivors speak up, shame is placed back where it should be. Gisele Pelicot, who was a victim of mass rape orchestrated by her husband, waived her right to anonymity in order to let the trial of her rapists be public. With her boldly simple words “shame must change sides”, she has set something alight.
When victims return the shame to these Power Perverts, society sees what their actions really mean. They’re truly weak, desperately insecure, emotionally immature, psychologically underdeveloped men who never got over the fact that they have small penises. Their pursuit of power, their need for domination, their misogyny, are coming from their core-deep feelings of inadequacy for not being ‘man’ enough. They won’t have the hypermasculine mask to hide behind.
Without the facade, would men like them be forced to face themselves? Maybe not, but right now they’re under our magnifying glass–and it turns out you really do need one to find their dicks.
But really, what is there to be ashamed of?
It’s not our bodies that should bring shame; not the weakness of our bodies but the weakness of character. It’s the cruel and inhumane attitudes and actions that are born of shame in a world that is built on domination of the feminine that have created this world seemingly run by Power Perverts. I was made to feel ashamed, so then I make other people feel ashamed, and then they pass it on ad infinitum. It’s an ouroboros of shame. How do we get out of the loop?
Shame is difficult to root out. So much of society's ideas of what is superior and inferior has gendered associations that it is difficult to extricate ourselves from it. I don't have clear solutions. Much of what is considered shameful is defined by men, to benefit male power structures. This is work that women can’t just do on their own: maybe giving shame back to men so they have to sit with it and work through it–instead of escaping it by projecting it onto others.
It will take more than the #metoo movement and a couple of Power Perverts being publicly shamed. When you really think about it, it’s ludicrous: why should sex abuse victims feel shame to begin with? They did nothing wrong. Yet there is something visceral that being dominated by another human in such a way can make one feel used, weak, less-than, dirty, etc. And even if on an individual level, a victim feels no shame, they have to contend with society’s judgement. It’s a problem that needs more than hashtag campaigns, exposing some perverts, or even celebrating femininity and womanhood to really eradicate.
This requires a total reevaluation.
The remedy to shame on a personal level is self acceptance and compassion. Men and women on individual levels can reflect on where they reject themselves, hate themselves, feel shame (i.e. my penis is so small and weird, or my father wanted a boy and I’ll never be good enough) and question the stories that culture and society have instilled in them. It can be a painful process, but maybe we can all, one by one, create a world where shame doesn’t flourish in the dark.